Giving Thanks

So my pastor shared a great sermon this past Sunday. It's not on the website yet, but when it is, look for 11-23-08 here. I very rarely recommend sermons unless I feel they are authentic, full of truth, and useful - and this sermon met all three criteria for me.

The title of the talk was "Loving Your Parents", and I anticipated it with a fair amount of trepidation. I do love and respect my parents for everything they did for me - that's not it. But when I hear that a sermon is going to be about relationships, my first question is whether or not the presenter is going to be real about life. I am a child of divorce, and I know more people who experienced divorce or some other tragedy in their growing up years than I do those who did not. So, let's just get down to the nitty gritty, you know? But no worries here. After some introductory material on the Biblical ideal of family relationships, he launched into a time of openness and vulnerability that I rarely see in the pulpit - sharing examples from his own life when necessary, but undergirding the whole time with honesty and frankness. I could tell several people were touched. And I just want to say, keep it coming! People want us to be vulnerable and real, because it helps them be vulnerable and real. In my estimation, this is a major aspect of servant-leadership - humbling oneself (in regards to emotional, or financial, or spiritual matters, or decision-making, et al) so that others will feel more comfortable following suit.

We had our home group right after church, and I opened by talking about the sermon. Even within our group, of the ten people there, only two were going to have Thanksgiving with a family who had not experienced some tragedy (divorce, death, unhealthy relationship patterns, or whatever else). So what do we say to this?

Certainly there are some who would say that people these days complain more. That we should just keep family matters private. While there is something to be said for decorum and respecting the integrity of intimate relationships, I believe this idea as a social more can discourage hurting people from reaching out. Indeed, it can discourage sick people from finding the help they need to get well. I am not interested in complaining for its own sake, but strive to push myself and those around me to answer a simple question in regards to familial difficulties -- What is God trying to say to me? (Not that He originated the difficulties, but that He is always with us and never leaves us and therefore has something to say in the midst of the difficulty.)

Sometimes just asking the question is enough. Sometimes just reminding myself of His presence is enough to comfort me and check my emotions. But more often, I ask that question, and then I get an answer.

"I put this person in your life for a reason. Don't waste it."

"I am with you always, even to the ends of the earth."

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

I hate that last one. Just so you know. It gets me every time.

But what do we do with really tragic stuff? What do we do with our abusers? What do we do with parents who will never be satisfied? What do we do when we really have actually screwed up and they don't have much to be proud of? Or when they really screw up and we're pissed?

We talk. We find that person if possible, or someone trustworthy if not possible, and talk about it. We humble ourselves in openness and frankness so that the other person has the opportunity to follow suit. I had a sweet conversation last night during which I was wonderfully reminded how much healing takes place just when we talk about something. No huge revelations. No advice sought or offered. Just talking and relating and sharing life. We could all use more of this.

And He will restore us. The longing for complete intimacy and complete adventure is stamped on every person's soul, and the Bible tells us that we will achieve these completely in eternity with Jesus. Indeed, we will always feel the ache until the day we meet with Him. But I am convinced that He does not want us to stagnate while we are waiting for that moment. "Let your Kingdom come, let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." This is our prayer. And this is our job. But it is a sweet and satisfying work.

How many have been required to relinquish an unholy relationship, only to have that relationship restored in a new and life-giving context?

How many have endured excruciating excavation of past tragedies, only to realize that these tragedies somehow do not hold the same power or menace over us that they once did?

How many have been able to empathize with some other hurting soul, and have thus realized the truth of Joseph's life? "What you intended for evil, the Lord intended for good and the saving of many souls." (Gen. 50:20)

And it is for this that I give thanks. That He pulled me out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock. That He has restored relationship and passion and purpose. That He is the God who heals me.

You have given me more than I could ever have wanted...You alone are good.

1 Peter 2:13-25

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

"...Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.

"For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls."

(emphasis mine)

Otto

Today I attend the memorial service for Dr. Otto Helweg, a very accomplished man by whom I was initially a little intimidated, but who came to be a known by me and Jeff as a ruthlessly humble and relentlessly devoted follower of Christ. It was not unusual for Otto, during our home group meetings, to explain Greek texts from the New Testament in one breath and talk about the first time he noticed his wife's legs in the next breath.

My friend, Ines, wrote a glowing tribute. I will leave a link to it later. It took me fifteen minutes to write that first paragraph. I simply have too much to say, and conversely cannot figure how to say it all. But you should know that I was blessed for having known Otto. Anyone who knew him was blessed for having known him.

Speaking of old-new music...

I am REALLY enjoying my Spin Doctors album these days. Whatever happened to them?

"One, two princes kneel before you..."

Please Read the Letter

By Page and Plant

Caught out running
With just a little too much to hide
Maybe baby, everything's gonna turn out fine
Please read the letter, I nailed it to your door
It's crazy how it all turned out
We needed so much more

Too late, too late
A fool could read the signs
Maybe baby, you'd better check between the lines
Please read the letter, I wrote it in my sleep
With help and consultation from
The angels of the deep

Please read the letter that I wrote
Please read the letter that I wrote

Once I stood beside a well of many words
My house was full of rings and
Charms and pretty birds
Please understand me, my walls came falling down
There's nothing here that's left for you
But check with lost and found

Please read the letter that I wrote
Please read the letter that I wrote

One more song just before we go
Remember baby, you're gonna reap just what you sow
Please read my letter and promise you'll keep
The secrets and the memories and
Cherish in the deep

Please read the letter, I nailed it to your door
It's crazy how it all turned out
We needed so much more

Please read the letter that I wrote
Please read the letter that I wrote
Please read the letter that I wrote
Please read the letter that I wrote

Wait for it, wait for it...

I went to the batting cages after work today. I have had a week of funkiness, internal and external, and thought it would do me some good to experience some physical exertion. And the whole hitting-the-crap-out-of-something thing was extremely attractive, truth be told.

I went to Gator Park on Baseline, and when I got there I was actually the only customer. It felt kind of creepy to walk into the game room with all of the video games making noises - and nobody in there. I finally got an employee to the counter, and then told him I wanted to use a cage for a half hour. He raised his eyebrow and said, "You gonna hit all them balls?"

I said, "Well, how many are there?" I couldn't help myself.

"Um, I don't know." Then he looked down and busied himself with the credit card machine. I mean, I know I don't completely look like the lithe athletic machine that I once (thought I) was. But I can still handle a half hour of exercise.

So I finally made it out to the batting cage, chose a bat, and hit the button. I love exercise for the mindlessness. I spend all day at work being engaged and challenged mentally...and then, all I need to think about is, wait, swing, hit. Wait, swing, hit. Not that I hit it every time. Especially since I indulged my fantasy of being a switch hitter. That part wasn't pretty, but still fun.

And despite my goal of mindlessness, I realized a few life lessons during this little adventure. (I can't help it. I'm a teacher; it's what I do.)

1. Always control yourself. I went there to hit the crap out of a few softballs. But when I swung like I was hitting the crap out of them, I would overswing or otherwise waste my motion. On the other hand, when I focused my will and energy, I connected solidly.

2. Don't get distracted. In other words, keep your eye on the ball. In other words, when the big muscly guy in the cage next to you starts grunting and swinging faster than any person you've seen in your life, you should still watch the balls coming your way or you may get hit in the shin by a wayward pitch. This kinda stings.

3. Wait for a good pitch. Swinging at bad pitches almost always produces bad results. Even if you are in a swinging mood, you will only get more frustrated at yourself when you get crappy hits.

Now...to apply this in daily life...only slightly more challenging than being a switch hitter.

Peace and grace to you.

Far Beyond Me

I got a new CD the other week, and I can't stop listening to it. Caroline Cobb Smith's album, "Far Beyond Me" is full of solid songwriting, charming melodies, and interesting instrumentation. Not to mention a great voice. Apparently there's a new album in the works, which makes me very excited. Get this album, folks, and you can someday say you were Caroline's fan way back when.