I Will

by Brandi Carlile

It's not the end of the world, it's not even over
But it will be soon
I never learned my lesson, I just changed my tune
And no one seems to notice
But you will, you will

It's no big deal
But the last thing I think of when I close my eyes
And the first thing on my mind when I arise
It is a day and you're not really in my life

You can try and you won't find it where you're looking
You can hold it 'til it's putty in your hands
And you can't break a heart that wasn't even yours to break
You can never be there for me in the end
And i will do the right thing
I will, I will, I will

You're not fooling me
I'm not the sort of girl that can't see reason
But it's nothing that a little bit of time won't heal
I know it don't come easy but I love you, I do

Coming clean means never closing curtains
I just changed my scene
Oh but you know what I mean and I will learn throughout my life
To never believe what will have been

I can try and I won't find it where I'm looking
I can hold it 'til it's putty in my hands
You can't break a heart that wasn't even yours to break
You can never be there for me in the end
But I will do the right thing
I will, I will, I will

I don't think you ever learned a thing from me
But I'm sure that you want me to learn from you
And you've drawn heavy-handed lines around morality
About yourself and I don't share your point of view

It's about time to let you go and I thought it's time to let you know
And it has to be the one that you'd regret
I have to say that I'm proud to know you
And I'll never be the same because we met
You might not miss this
I will, I will, I will

Satisfaction

I judged jr high all-region tryouts on Saturday. When I was a choir director, judging tryouts was one of the necessary drudgeries of the job, and honestly, one of the things I was looking forward to NOT doing again. (The directors reading this may disagree. You may love sitting for ten hours and listening to 200 different students sing the same 2 minutes of music over and over, and over. But not me.) So, why did I do it?

Well, I've been missing my kids. And I knew I would get to see some of them. And it was wonderful! I loved even the few minutes I got with them before I had to run to a meeting, seeing how they are growing into the adults they will be one day. That was one of my favorite parts of teaching -- witnessing the process of growth.

Also, I love their new director. When I decided in Sep of '08 that 08-09 would be my last year of teaching, I started praying then for the new director. We had made some major progress in the three years I had been there, foundational stuff, and I wanted the kids to have a director of some experience and achievement to help them further tap into their potential. Well, they didn't get a director with just some experience -- they got a director with loads of experience and achievement! And to top it off, she really loves them.

That was such an encouragement for me, personally, to know the work would continue. And again, because of her immense expertise, Mrs. Dunavan will grow that program at a much quicker rate and to a deeper level than I could have if I had stayed. She's just awesome.

The first major indicator of this is that TEN of her jr high kids made the all-region choir! I am so happy for those kiddos, each of them! And I will see you guys at the all-region concert!