The Long Way Home

Well I stumbled in the darkness
I'm lost and alone
Though I said I'd go before us
And show the way back home
Is there a light up ahead
I can't hold onto very long
Forgive me pretty baby but I always take the long way home

Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a handful of lightning
A hat full of rain
And I know that I said I'd never do it again
And I love you pretty baby but I always take the long way home

I put food on the table
And roof overhead
But I'd trade it all tomorrow
For The highway instead
Watch your back if I should tell you love's the only thing I've ever known
One thing for sure pretty baby I always take the long way home

You know I love you baby
More than the whole wide world
I'm your woman
You know you are my pearl
Let's go out past the party lights
We can finally be alone
Come with me and we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home

Knowing

I'm in a Lucinda Williams mood lately, and truth be told, often. I just love her voice and her songwriting ability. And I can think when I listen to her.

The Accepting

By Me, April 18, 2009

You are the answer to my loneliness
But you elude my touch, my eyes, my ears
I can't hold you
I can't look at you
I can't listen to you

But you can hold me (up)
You can see (all of) me
You hear my (unformed) thoughts

I rest in the utter fullness of
The knowing of me and
The accepting

John Mark McMillan

I have found another great listen that I want to share with you all. Last Sunday at church, we sang "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan -- an amazing song which prompted me to research Mr. McMillan on the interweb. I have since downloaded his album, The Song Inside the Sounds of Breaking Down, and will most definitely download The Medicine in a few weeks.

Here is a short video of "How He Loves":



And here is another, slightly longer, video which explains the circumstances surrounding the writing of "How He Loves". Have some tissues handy, because it's pretty heavy.

Time flies...

...when you're having fun.



Wednesday, March 18th, will mark the three year anniversary to my marriage to Mr. Jeffrey Carl Pinto. We've been through a lot over the past three years, some good and some bad, and all of it a grand adventure. We have definitely learned a lot. Maybe Jeff will tell you someday what he has learned, but I won't speak for him. I'll share a few things I have learned.

1. God's plan for my marriage is not to make me happy; it's to make me holy. This was God's plan for my life in singleness, too, by the way. I am still tempted to look to Jeff (or coerce him, on my really bad days) to be the source of my satisfaction or peace. Long story short, it doesn't work. He feels stepped on and manipulated, and I feel greater frustration as a result of the coercion process. When I remember to let Jeff be himself, and let me be myself, and let God be God...things go easier for me. And then guess what happens? I'm happier! Funny how that works, huh? For a more detailed conversation on this topic, please see The DNA of Relationships by Gary Smalley.

2. I decide how I view my differences with my partner. My pastor's wife shared this bit of wisdom with us during pre-engagement counseling (back in the day, I was a little freaked by the idea of marriage, and pre-engagement counseling was one extra step we took). This is basically it: character traits are neutral; they are neither good nor evil. We sometimes unconsciously attribute moral judgments to them, but they are just simply that - our judgements. The biggest difference Jeff and I have is how we make decisions. He prefers to take his time, think/talk through every option, and sometimes even make the decision in such a way that it can be reversed if he wants to explore another option. I prefer to quickly survey available information, maybe consult one or two other people, and then make a decision based primarily on my gut feeling. We are both pretty successful and sane people, so our individual decision-making processes helped us just fine when we were single. But we're not single; we're married.

Now. This is where I decide how to view Jeff. There is always a positive light and a negative light. The positive light is that he is methodical, thorough, and very concerned with being a wise steward of what God gave him. The negative light involves words like passive, indecisive, distractible. It's obvious which perspective will support my marriage, and which perspective will harm it. Conversely, Jeff could say that I am impulsive, reckless, or even foolish for making such quick decisions. Instead, he sees (we both see) the Lord's hand in us being put on the same team. And we strive to find balance and to help each other grow into more well-rounded people. I am thankful for such an amazing friend!

I am also thankful for God giving us that wisdom via our pastor's wife before we even got married.

3. I really am more in love today than I was three years ago. And not in the way I would expect. It's like now I have more data to support the feelings I had then (we're great for each other; he's always so kind; we have so much fun). Those feelings/thoughts were true then, but after three years, I can tell you I believe them all the more.

I love you, Jeff, and I can't think of anyone else with whom I would want to share this life more than you. You are my rock, and I admire you more than you know.

I love you, stud!

Fiction Family

...is my new favorite listen. Comprised of Jon Foreman, frontman for Switchfoot, and Sean Watkins of the now-defunct Nickel Creek. Songwriting at its best, and as this album was recorded during gaps in traveling and other obligations over the course of a few years, it offers much variety in style and orchestration. If you like that sort of thing. And why would you NOT?! :)

Here are lyrics for one of my favorites, which reminds me (a little bit) of Don McLean or early Billy Joel:

Please Don't Call It Love

you were indifferent
i was young
we were both drinking fiction with greedy tounges
you were waiting for someone
something to happen
something irrational
climbing the walls and falling in love

how do you find me here my dove
where my sun also rises sure enough
i was waiting for someone
something to happen
something ridiculous
climbing the walls and falling to what i now would call your bluff

please don't call it love

screaming like screen play off the cuff
we were both stuck pretending our dreams were enough
i will walk in the morning worn in the day
i thought i could i have you miles away from falling in love

truth finds time sweet enough
please don't call it love

Caffeine

I can't sleep. I have to be at church in six and a half hours.

Lucinda Williams...




Cat Power...




And finally, the queen...