I am also in transition professionally speaking. Last Tuesday was my last day as a public school teacher, and I will begin work on a master's degree in marriage and family therapy next month. It was bittersweet leaving that campus for the last time, the campus where I spent three years developing a foundation for a solid choir program...where I often sat staring at the walls at 4pm completely overwhelmed by the emotional and social issues of my students and the hefty workload of teaching...where I more than once threw up my hands at the futility of my fledgling classroom management skills...where I saw some kids fall in love with music, and in the process believe in themselves a little more...where I saw others battle their demons, and sometimes lose...but then sometimes they won. I lived for the winning moments. And, oh yeah, we made good music with increasing frequency.
But now, if the Lord wills, I will very shortly be connecting with other kids like these about those emotional and social issues...and not about the issues through the vehicle of Latin pronunciation or lyrical interpretation or music theory. Because while I love teaching and I absolutely love my subject, I have discovered that I love people more. So why not cut out the middle man, so to speak?...And even now my demons of inadequacy and rejection peek around the corner at me. It is obvious they are scheming. They would perhaps even manipulate the mouths of other people to speak lies and condemnation. Salt water from a fresh spring. They are persistent, I'll give 'em that. But they are also foolish, because they're fighting a losing battle.
There's this old hymn we used to sing growing up, I think probably from the Heavenly Highways hymnal, at that country church in El Paso. It's taken directly from:
2 Timothy 1:12 (KJV): "I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
2 Tim. 1:12 (ISV): "I am not ashamed, for I know the one in whom I have put my trust, and I'm convinced that he is able to protect what he has entrusted to me until the day that he comes."
And here's the hymn text of I Know Whom I Have Believed, by Daniel W. Whittle:
1. I know not why God's wondrous grace
to me he hath made known,
nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
redeemed me for his own.
Refrain:
But I know whom I have believed,
and am persuaded that he is able
to keep that which I've committed
unto him against that day.
2. I know not how this saving faith
to me he did impart,
nor how believing in his word
wrought peace within my heart.
3. I know not how the Spirit moves,
convincing us of sin,
revealing Jesus through the word,
creating faith in him.
4. I know not when my Lord may come,
at night or noonday fair,
nor if I'll walk the vale with him,
or meet him in the air.
But I know whom I have believed,
and am persuaded that he is able
to keep that which I've committed
unto him against that day.
1 comment:
Rachel, I'm so excited for you and your new pursuit! You are going to be (already are) a great counselor!
You are also a very talented writer. So skills with putting the words together correctly in sentences and stuff.
Ines and I are so bless to call you and the Hunk our friends.
Love,
Rob
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